Friday, September 25, 2009

Read at your own risk!

I woke up early that day my friend. The sun had still not risen; even the early bird who gets the early worm was fast asleep. While brushing my teeth I had sensed something was not right. Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning. It was way too early for anyone to be awake, too early for a superhero like me as well. So I unbrushed my teeth by gorging on leftovers from dinner and decided to go back to sleep. But not before brushing my teeth again!! I can’t afford to treat any cavities during this recession.

So anyway, waking up at my usual time I found myself in a dire situation. My hands and legs were tied up to the bed and I ….. umm… sorry wrong narration. Anyhoooo…. I woke up and went about my daily routine. Things seems quiet, a little to quiet for my liking. Usually during the Bandra Feast there is a lot of noise and commotion on the streets of Bandra, what was wrong this year? So I asked myself, if I was quiet, why would I be quiet? After hours of pondering and constant reminders to myself what I was thinking about in the first place, I decided to check it out for myself. So I made a trip to the Bandra Fair.

It was crowded as usual but still to my surprise, not a sound. So I decided to do some further investigation. After some candy floss and two giant wheel rides later I got back to my investigation. It took me far into the depths of the fair where usually you would hear the annoying ‘paaaw paaaw’s of the horns being blown, but this time there was nothing. I sensed something was terribly wrong. What’s the Bandra Fair without the noise? I wandered around the fair in desperation to find out what could be the cause of this terrible silence which was now starting to grow on me. I decided to get on the giant wheel again, but this time with the intention of getting a bird’s eye view of the events. (I never asked for the investigation to be so enjoyable)

While on top of the wheel, I thought I saw something in the distance. Something so simple and so primitive it never crossed my mind. It was a giant megaphone. Was it possible that this megaphone was sucking out all the sound that was being produced in the area? What kind of sick mind would do that? Actually a sick mind who didn’t want to be disturbed would do that. Actually, if I had the resources and the money, I would do it myself. It was brilliant! I decided to take a closer look, after stopping for some more candy floss and a bottle of coke. (WOW! That’s a lot of sugar!)

I reached the spot where the megaphones power seemed to be concentrated. As I stood there, looking at this magnificent structure, the clouds gathered. It was as if it was perfectly planned. Sudden lightening appeared in the sky and everyone was running helter-skelter once the rain started pouring down. But I still stood there, marvelling at the idea of having this at all the railway stations. Then all of a sudden, some weird noise emerged from the megaphone. It was as if it was opening up. I stood there, not knowing what to do. And suddenly, water started gushing out of the cone and flowed into a collection tank hidden underground. I had mistaken a rainwater collector for a megaphone. Knowing that I would never know the true cause of this silence I started walking home, drenched to the core.

Just then, as I saw the bolt of lightening in the sky I got an idea. I thought back to when I last heard sounds coming from the fair. It was when I had woken up early. I had trouble going back to sleep again because of all the noise; I decided to stuff my ears with ear plugs. I reached for my ears, and rightly enough the ear plugs were lodged in there, as if stuck with superglue. I yanked them out of my ears and there it was. The magnificent sounds of people ‘paaw paawing’, hawkers selling channa, people puking on the giant wheel and the hustle and bustle around. Ahh.. the sounds of the Bandra Fair. It was like music to my ears, only less appealing and with no rhythm at all.

You may think that this was a useless adventure to narrate but I think it was a huge disaster which was averted. I could have forgotten to put on my pants!!!

Well anyway, it was a great enjoyable day! Only hope that someone really makes a machine to suck out noise and install them at the Dandia events!

This is SuperCraig signing out, reminding you not to kiss the pigs. You may get swine flu!


akived said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nash said...

haha. awesome!